Home Alone—Real Life, Not a Movie

Even though April showers are still promising May flowers here in Newark, sooner than you think, school will be out for the summer. What do you have planned for summer childcare? If you are a parent of a preteen, you may wonder if you can safely leave the child home alone. While there are no hard and fast rules, there are guidelines

For the most part, children are not ready to be left alone until the age of 11 or 12. In fact, in Delaware, it is illegal for a child under the age of 12 to be left home alone. But even 12 can be too young for some youngsters. Much depends on your child's maturity level. It’s a good idea to leave him alone for brief periods to see how he manages. Gradually, increase the time you are gone from the house. Also assess the child’s mood on your return home. Is he bored? Lonely? Scared? Or proud of having stayed by himself?

Before you leave a child unsupervised at home, first consider how she feels about it. Does she feel safe? Is she comfortable making decisions on her own? Does she feel confident about her ability to handle responsibility? Does she know what to do in an emergency?

A child should know how to reach parents at work. Also, review the rules about answering phones and doors. Remind him never to tell a caller that he is alone. Place a list of emergency numbers by the phone, and coach the child on what to say in an emergency situation. Make sure he understands appropriate and inappropriate reasons for calling parents or other adults for help.

Safety is of foremost importance, so go over potential situations. Teach the child how to call 911 for emergency help and how to get out of the house safely in case of a fire. In addition, instruct him on use of appliances, knives and other kitchen tools; what to do if he smells smoke or gas; what to do during severe weather conditions; and how and when to get help. Childproof the home, and lock away alcohol and medicines.

Other things to brief a child on are how to lock and unlock doors and windows, what to do if approached by a stranger, what to do if she thinks someone is in the house, what to do if someone touches or speaks to her inappropriately.

As the parent, you set the rules, including whether playing outside the house or having friends over is acceptable, cooking and use of the kitchen, appropriate snacks and meals, and what chores, if any, you expect done. Write the rules down so there can be no confusion over what was said. Address computer and television viewing policies as well. Tell her what sites she is allowed to view, time limits for use and schedules for sharing with siblings.

Children who are mentally and emotionally ready to stay home alone and who have been taught the skills needed to deal with this new responsibility can gain a sense of independence and self-esteem from the experience. Just make certain the child is ready for this step.

—Sandra Peterson, Family Life & Youth Development Educator
Delaware State University Cooperative Extension

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