How I Grow

• I stand by myself!
• I hold a toy in one hand while I pull myself up on my feet with the other hand.
• I may even wave while standing and turn my body around without falling down.
• I walk if you hold only one of my hands.
• I easily squat down, stoop, bend over, and then get up.
• I can kneel and then lift a foot to stand.
• I use both hands. I may begin to show whether I'm right­handed or left­handed.
• I can put a spoon in my mouth.

How I Talk

• I know that things have names to identify them.
• I babble to myself when I am alone.
• Now when I say, Dada, and, Mama, I mean you.

How I Respond

• I copy everything I see and then do it my own way.
• I try to get your approval. I hide when I know you are not pleased with what I have done.
• I may test you to see how much I can get away with.
• If you laugh at what I say or do, I'll do it again.

How I Understand

• I see the expression on your face and copy it. I'm learning from you!
• I try to bark and meow when I see a dog or a cat. I am learning what people, animals, and things do.
• I like to look at pictures in books and magazines.
• I know that tools will help me. I might push a chair in front of me to steady my walking.

How I Feel

• I need you more these days and cling to you, especially in new situations.
• I love to shake my head and say, no, even when I mean "yes."
• I may cry, scream, and have tantrums if I don't get my way.
• I feel guilty when I do something wrong.

Each Child Is Unique

Most children will be doing the items listed on page one of this newsletter.

Remember, because your child is unique -- special in his own way, and because of what you do with your child -- your child will have his own rate of development.

Pushing him to do something that he's not ready to do yet will only frustrate him and cause him to have less self-confidence.

Self-confidence seems to be one of the keys to a happy and productive life. Try to help your child be successful in what he does. This helps him to develop confidence. Being confident leads to a positive self-image.

Toilet Teaching -- When?

Toilet teaching will be easier on everyone if you wait.

Most child development experts suggest waiting until a child is between 2 and 3 years old before teaching your child to use the toilet.

At least wait until Baby:

• has a bowel movement at about the same time every day.
• can tell you in words that he has to go.
• can undo clothing (including snaps and zippers).
• can relax and let the urine or bowel movement out.

Learning to Talk

Your child's first words will probably be one-word puzzles.

Your child may say, go, but may mean, "Where did Daddy go?" or, "I want to go to the car." With one word, your child is trying to tell you a complete thought.

Children who pick up new words quickly are those who have parents who are very creative in figuring out what these "one­word puzzles" mean. The parent's interest and response to the child help to encourage her so that she is interested in talking more.

Encourage your child to combine gestures and words.

Combining hand motions and gestures with single words will help you to understand what she is saying.

Make It Easy To Act Right

Eleven-month-olds are into everything.

They poke, dump, lick, squeeze, toss, and climb. They are picky about food and they splash in their cereal and milk.

How Does A Parent Make A Child Mind?

Be realistic in your expectations.

Think about how your child is learning and growing. When your child sees something bright and pretty, he learns by feeling and tasting it. "Look, but don't touch" is almost meaningless at this stage.

Avoid situations where you must constantly correct your child.

At this age, it is easier to put Baby in situations where he can do something that is all right for him to do, rather than to "make him mind."

If you are in a new place, be prepared that Baby will want to explore. You will need to follow him around. It is not realistic for Baby to sit still at this age.

Expect Baby to play at mealtime.

Splashing in the cereal and dropping food on the floor is all part of learning. Usually this starts to happen when Baby has lost interest in eating. If you don't want this behavior to continue, take Baby's food away and let him play with something else.

Show Your Child What You Expect

Make your expectations clear.

Let him know when you are unhappy with his behavior. Be sure to emphasize what behavior you are unhappy with. For example say, Biting hurts! I can't let you bite me.

Baby may continue to do something wrong just to get attention.

It becomes a game. He crawls to a forbidden object and turns around to look at you. You say, no, but he reaches out to touch anyway. You get angry and say, no, again. He reaches again for the object, waiting for your, no, and so the game goes on.

Stop the game by getting Baby interested in another activity. Show him something he can have fun touching.

Discipline is helping your child develop the habits of behaving.

The habits of appropriate behaviors will develop over the years. They will come as Baby has a longer attention span and is able to explore more carefully.

Love And Affection Are Part Of Effective Discipline

Love, affection, and discipline are all part of the moment­to­moment business of living.

The relationship between you and your child develops from everything you do for and with your child. Show your child how much you love him by playing with him and telling him that you love him. As your child grows in his love and trust for you, he will want to behave in a way that will please you.

Let's Play...Help Me Learn

Toy Ideas

Babies need a variety of toys.

Look at the list of toys below. Try to give Baby toys to play with from several categories, rather than just one or two types.

Toys that encourage movement

push-pull toys, balls

Toys with pieces that fit together

shape boxes, simple puzzles, blocks, stacking rings

Toys the require pressure to put together or take apart

"Bristle" blocks, "pop" beads, rubber puzzles, pegboards and plastic pegs

Toys with varied textures

texture rattles, balls, blocks, fuzzy puppets

Toys that make noise

musical toys, rattles, squeaky toys

Toys that involve cause and effect relationships

Windup toys, "Busy Boxes"

Toys with hidden parts

Jack-in-the-boxes

Toys that encourage talking

toy telephones, puppets

Toys that encourage pretending

play dishes, picnic supplies, hats, dolls, cardboard boxes

Toys for cuddling

stuffed dolls and toys

Remember, even the best toys are better when you play with them with your child.

Infants need time to play alone, but they also need your praise and assistance.

Favorite Words

Baby's favorite word may be "no."

You like to hear Baby say, Mama, and Dada, but her favorite word may be "NO!" Don't let her fool you. She doesn't always mean it; she just likes to say it.

Baby wants to learn about noises and what they mean.

Teach her the sounds different animals make. Show her pictures so she knows what the animals look like. Tell her about the sounds around the house -- the door closing, the faucet running, and the toilet flushing.

When Baby talks to you, let her finish her "sentence" before you respond.

Say something back to Baby that will let her know that you understand what she said. Ask her a question or help her finish her thought.

Learning About Me

Baby is eager to learn about herself.

When you change her diaper, talk to her about her body. Tell her what is happening and also what helps you. You're kicking your legs. Keep them still until I get the diaper fastened, then you can kick them again.

Where is your ?

Teach Baby the parts of her body by asking, Where is your foot? If baby doesn't respond say, There's your foot. Do this with the other body parts: Arm? Leg? Hand? Eyes? Nose? Mouth? Hair? And, of course, Belly button?

Sing with baby, This is the way we touch our nose. . .

Sing this to the tune of "Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush."

If you have a large mirror, let Baby watch while you and she sing.

Point out differences to Baby.

When she looks at you, help her understand the ways you and she are the same and different. Are you looking at my hair? My hair is black, just like yours, but mine is longer.

That's my hand. Let's count my fingers. One, two, three, four, five. Now let's count yours. Mine are bigger, but we both have five fingers.

Make the Most of Your Time

Time is a valuable resource.

You can control the use of time or let time control you. It all depends on how you use your time. Here are some ways to make the most of your time:

• Think about what happens most days.
  When are there some moments when you can do some of the tasks you need or want to do? What tasks can you do with children around? What has to be done when your children are asleep or being watched by someone else?
• Write a list of things that need to be done.
  Make a new list every day. Rate the three most important items A-B-C or 1-2-3. Do these three things first. Cross out tasks as they are completed.
• Expect the unexpected.
  Be prepared to revise your list as needed.
• Try to reduce the time and energy you spend feeling guilty or frustrated about jobs you can't get done.
• Avoid clutter.
• Make a simple daily housekeeping schedule with basic, important tasks on it. Routines reduce thinking time.
• Plan ahead to save time.
• Plan to leave 10 minutes earlier for an appointment than you need to -- being early cuts down on stress.
• Be good to yourself.
  Set reasonable goals, deadlines, and schedules that you can achieve within the time you have available to do the tasks.

Remove Drawstring Hazard

Drawstrings in children's clothing can be dangerous.

These drawstrings can get caught on playground equipment, an escalator, a fence, and other products. If this happens, there is a risk of a child being strangled by the drawstring.

If you find drawstrings in any of your child's clothing, the Consumer Product Safety Commission recommends that you:

• remove the hood and neck drawstrings from children's jackets, sweatshirts, or other clothing; or
• sew a seam through the drawstring at the middle of the hood and neck so neither end can pull out and catch on an object. Cut all string ends as short as you can, leaving only what you need to tie the garment.

Teach Your Child To Be Safe

Give Baby safe toys and safe places to play.

Try to avoid situations where you must constantly say, no, or pull your child from a dangerous situation.

If you remove your child from dangerous situations quickly and firmly, he is likely to learn to stay away from these places.

Use words that describe the situation.

Help Baby to learn the meaning of "words of warning" -- like "hot," "hurts," "tastes bad," and "can cut." These reasons for leaving something alone are better to use than "don't" or a flat "no."

Your child will learn to tell from your face and voice, as well as from your words, that certain situations are dangerous.

The hardest part of teaching about safety is to be able to teach your child what is dangerous without punishing his natural curiosity. Show Baby how to handle a situation safely. You will probably have to show Baby many times before he will do it on his own. However, this is how children learn to be safe.

Crib Safety

Some clever 11-month-olds have figured out how to climb out of their playpens and cribs.

When your child can climb out, put a mattress or a big pillow on the floor beside the crib -- just in case she falls.

Avoid placing a crib next to a window that cannot be locked safely.

If Baby can climb out of the crib, Baby can climb out a window.

Be sure cords for blinds, shades, or lamps are out of Baby's reach from the crib.

Recliner Chair Safety

A child's head and neck can become trapped between the leg rest and chair if the chair folds up.

Several children have been hurt or killed in recliner chair accidents. These children were between 12 and 30 months old. They were alone in a room and climbing on the leg rest of the chair.

If you have a recliner chair, be sure to:

• always keep it in an upright position when it's not in use.
• keep children from playing on the leg rest, even with an adult in the chair.

Report any accident with recliner chairs or with any baby products to the Consumer Product Safety Commission at 1-800-638-CPSC.

Second Hand Smoke Has Effect On Children

Children of mothers who smoke show cancer­causing compounds in their blood.

A study of children whose mothers smoked 10 cigarettes a day showed that the children had cancer­causing compounds and nicotine in their blood.

Children should not be around smokers or in smoke­filled houses.

Cigarette and cigar smoke can make it more difficult for children to breathe, especially children with allergies and breathing problems.

Brothers and Sisters

Older children may see Baby as a threat.

Now that Baby can crawl and move around, he can get into their things. Brothers and sisters may feel that Baby is a pest and interrupts their time with you.

Remember, an older child was the center of your attention until this child was born.

He now needs to be told often that he is still loved and cared for. You should also make it clear to him that some behaviors -- like hitting -- are not acceptable. When he does hit the smaller child, you have to either physically stop him, move him out of the situation, or hold him while you explain why he can't hit.

Spend time alone with the older child.

Find a time when you can give him your complete attention. Do whatever he would like to do. You can plan the time around Baby's naptime or in the evening.

Show the older child new things to do.

Show him a new way to use a toy. Put some books or a small toy in a "special box" that he can play with by himself, while you have to do something for Baby.

When the older child is upset, encourage him to get his "box." Change the items every 2 or 3 days. These strategies help him learn ways to occupy his time by himself.

Two Minutes Of Fun

Children are happy with lots of little bits of your time and attention.

They learn to amuse themselves with your help. There are times when you are waiting for an appointment or standing in line, that you need some quick ways to play with your child.

It takes less than 2 minutes to:

• give your child a hug and a kiss.
• tweak his toes.
• play "Pat­a­Cake" or "Peek­a­Boo."
• show Baby his nose or chin, or your nose.
• admire Baby's shoes.
• point to a pretty leaf or flower.
• show Baby the pictures in a book.
• give Baby a big smile.

Great Beginnings   is sent to you by:

Patricia T. Nelson, Ed.D.
Family and Child Development Specialist

This newsletter has been edited by Deborah J. Amsden, CHE; and prepared with the assistance of Dr. Penny Deiner, Department of Individual and Family Studies, University of Delaware. This series has been adapted from Parent Express, by Dr. Dorothea Cudaback, Cooperative Extension, University of California and from Parenting the First Year by Dorian Schatell, University of Wisconsin Cooperative Extension.

GB-11M
6/20/97
Rev. 11/94