How I Grow

• I crawl up stairs, but I haven't learned how to get back down yet.
• I walk if you hold my hands or I can hold onto furniture.
• I sit down from a standing position.
• I climb up onto chairs and then climb down again.
• I point to the right parts of my body when you ask me where they are.
• I feed myself, and I help hold my cup.
• I may have trouble sleeping at night, because I'm restless.

How I Talk

• I understand simple sentences.
• I can say, no, and shake my head from side to side.
• I am interested in conversations when I hear familiar words.
• I may really test your patience when I repeat the same words all day long.

How I Respond

• I know when you approve or disapprove of what I do.
• I cry if another child gets more attention than I do.
• I still don't like being away from you.
• When you dress me, I try to help.

How I Understand

• I know which toys belong to me, and I have some favorites.
• I will look for something -- if I see you hide it.
• I know that if I don't see a toy, that doesn't mean it's gone forever.
• If my toys are out of my reach, I get them myself and play with them.
• I am beginning to know that I am a boy or a girl.
• I am beginning to think of myself as a person.

How I Feel

• I have many feelings now -- sad, happy, mad, scared, hurt.
• I am very moody and get upset easily.
• I may still feel shy around people.
• I am sensitive to other children's moods.

Baby Is More Aware

Baby is more aware of your approval and disapproval.

If you clap and smile, he will continue what he is doing. Sometimes he is so much fun to watch that you will want him to show off for others. Some babies may show off; however, it is more likely that he will feel shy and not do what you ask. He's not ready to be a performer yet.

Baby is aware of when you leave.

When you do leave, he may scream and cry. He may not want to go to sleep and may wake up and look for you in the middle of the night. He may start to cling. This has a name. It is called "stranger anxiety." This reaction is greatest between 10 and 18 months.

Help Baby with "stranger anxiety."

Practice short separations and happy reunions. Leave the room for a few minutes and return. If he fusses, talk to him and help him learn to comfort himself.

If Baby is going to a new place or is going to meet a new person, plan to spend some time helping them get acquainted. When you leave, don't make a fuss about going. Have the person staying with Baby distract him with a toy; say good­bye, and leave quickly.

Discipline: Is Baby A Tease?

Does Baby ever tease you on purpose?

Has she ever headed straight for a wastebasket to upset it -- making sure you notice? Does she reach for your glasses -- almost waiting to hear you say, No, no?

Your child is testing the limits.

She is experimenting to see just where the limits are. At such moments, you find yourself in the age-old dilemma of parenthood -- wondering when to stop the child and when to laugh and enjoy her newest success, when to encourage and when to forbid.

How can you make it easy?

First, don't ask too much of your baby. Keep in mind that your child is a baby -- move wastebaskets, breakable items, and plants to a place where Baby can't reach them. Cover electrical outlets.

Give Baby safe toys and safe places to play. Pick up Baby and take her away from dangerous things.

Use words like "hot," "tastes bad," and "stop," instead of saying, no, all of the time.

Be patient, gentle, and understanding.

Keep showing Baby what you want her to do.

When Baby Is Angry

Your baby has shown you "anger" for several months now.

It is important to understand the stages of angry behavior to help you decide how to handle the situation.

• It starts when your baby wants something he can't have or when something is taken away from him.
• Baby looks angry, and his body is heavy and tight. He focuses on what he wants and won't be distracted. He may kick and scream. He is having a temper tantrum.
• He is being controlled by his anger. Now you have to help him learn to control his anger.

Yelling and punishing him are not helpful.

Actually, they make things worse. He is out of control. So you have to be in control to help him control his anger.

When Baby is angry, try:

• checking to see if he is in a safe place and then ignore his behavior.
• thinking about when and where Baby gets angry. Is he hungry or tired? If so, either feed him or change the schedule. If it happens in a particular place or situation, see what you can change to prevent Baby from becoming angry.

Be kind, loving, and firm with your baby.

Do not give in to his demands just to keep him quiet. This is just the beginning of helping your child deal with anger. Creating good habits to handle anger now will pay off later.

"Ahhh" Game

A smart thing to teach your child is to say, ahhh.

This trick will make going to the doctor easier. It is also helpful when you want to see what Baby put in his mouth.

To teach Baby, say, ahhh, yourself.

Open your mouth very wide and stick out your tongue. Your child will learn by copying you.

No matter how well you try to make your home safe for Baby, he will find something to put in his mouth without you seeing it.

Don't panic! You might startle your child and cause him to swallow the object.

Instead, act as if you are playing the Ahhh game. If Baby knows the game, he will copy you. You can check your child's mouth in no time.

If your baby does swallow something, try to find out what it was.

Immediately call the Poison Control Center at 1­800­722­7112, your doctor, or the nearest hospital emergency room for advice.

Make sure you take the container of whatever he swallowed with you, if you have to take him for treatment.

Some doctors recommend having syrup of ipecac in your first aid kit. Only use it, though, when your health care provider advises you to use it to induce vomiting.

Let's Play...Help Me Learn

Games Babies Play

Which-Hand-Is-It-In?
A "things-don't-disappear" game

This game teaches Baby:

• that things are still there even when you can't see them.
• to get information from words.

Here's how you play:

• Hold a small object in one of your hands and show your baby the object.
• Switch the object back and forth slowly between your hands several times.
• Keep your hands closed. Show both hands to Baby and say, Which hand is it in?

When Baby reaches for one of your hands, say either, No, it's not in this hand. (Quickly open your hand.) This hand is empty. Where is it? or, Yes, it's in this hand. Quickly open the other hand.

Other "things-don't-disappear" games

• Hide a toy under a towel.
• Hide a ball under one of several cups.

Encourage Baby to hunt for the ball.

Remember, the goal of these games is not to "fool" Baby, but to help him learn that objects are there even when you can't see them.

Imitation Games

Babies enjoy imitating -- and they really love it when you imitate them.

Baby learns by imitation, copying what someone else does. Only show him things that you want him to learn.

You can imitate the things that he does that you like -- so that he'll know to do them some more.

Show Baby how to wave and clap his hands.

First you do it, then do it with his hands to show him how. Do it again. Keep on practicing. One day he will reward you by doing it all by himself.

Field Trips For Baby

Does your baby like to shop?

Some children really seem to enjoy the "shopping experience." Others get very excited by all the colors, textures, smells and noises, and they "freak out" with bad behavior. If your child can handle the stimulation, shopping can be a fun outing.

Plan before you go.

Plan to go at a time when Baby is not hungry or tired. You might want to bring something from home for him to play with to keep those busy hands from grabbing something unsafe at the store.

You can help your baby to learn in the store by talking to him and pointing out the different items.

When you choose some apples you can say, We need four red apples. See. One, two, three, four. When you get cereal, show him the box, perhaps shake it, and let him see what is in it when you get home.

Toy Storage

Is your family collecting a number of toys?

Having a place to store the toys helps you and Baby know where to put them when Baby is done playing with them.

One of your goals is to help Baby become independent and to make choices.

Being able to choose the toy he wants to play with is one way of supporting Baby's independence.

Here are some storage ideas:

• Shelves: Shelves are a good way to store toys. Everything has a place on the shelf. The toys don't get damaged as much as when they get jammed together in a toy chest. Attach the shelves to the wall if you can, so they can't fall over on Baby.

  Look at the height of the shelves. Get down and creep to them as your baby would. Can you reach them? If not, see if you can arrange the toys so Baby can easily reach them.

• Toy Chest: Although this may be neater from the outside, it is more difficult for children to find and organize their toys in a toy chest. If you think a toy chest is appropriate for your family, look for these features:
  • A light-weight lid, which a child can lift.
  • Ventilation (in case a child gets trapped inside).
  • Closings that do not lock automatically.
  • Hinges designed so they cannot pinch small fingers.
• Other storage containers:
  • laundry basket
  • cardboard box
  • 1 or 2 drawers in a bureau.

Climbing Exercises

Climbing is an important skill to learn.

There are some things you can do to help make this "risky" learning experience safer.

Show Baby how to climb up and down, on and off.

When you have time to help Baby with his climbing exercises, show him how to climb up. Show him how to come down crawling backwards, so he doesn't do it head first.

You may want to put gates ½ or ¼ of the way up the stairs. This way he can't climb too high.

Show Baby how to get off the furniture by coming down feet first. After a few practice sessions, he will soon remember and be safer because of it.

You may want to block off the steps with a gate when you are not able to help Baby.

Let Baby climb on the steps only when you are able to help him.

Gates at the top or bottom of the stairs can prevent accidents. Don't use an accordion­style gate. These have caused accidents and deaths.

Feeding Your Baby

Start using a spoon.

Most babies don't learn how to use a spoon well until after their first birthday. Now is a good time to begin letting Baby practice using a spoon. Here are some foods that will stick to the spoon easily:

• Yogurt
• Applesauce
• Mashed potatoes
• Cooked cereal (oatmeal, cream of rice, or cream of wheat)
• Cottage cheese
• Macaroni and cheese
• Mashed cooked beans

Include "finger foods" with Baby's meals.

Although Baby may not be good at using a spoon yet, she likes to feed herself. Having some finger foods at mealtime gives Baby some easy foods to eat. Good finger foods are:

• bagel halves, pieces of tortilla, and rice.
• cooked vegetable strips or slices (carrot, green beans, potato).
• peeled, soft fruit wedges or slices (peach, pear, melon).
• small, tender pieces of cooked meat.

Remember to make mealtimes happy, not frustrating.

Hungry babies want to eat. It's up to parents and other caretakers to help babies develop a good attitude about food. How? With lots of praise, a little patience and encouragement, your baby can learn to like a wide variety of tastes and textures in new foods. Good food habits start in infancy.

Comparing Children

Relatives, friends, and people you don't know are going to make comments about how your baby is growing and developing.

When did your baby lift her head?
My baby has been doing that for a month.
Look at those pudgy cheeks.

Sometimes, you may wish that people did not say anything rather than make a comment like these.

Develop effective ways of dealing with people's well-meant curiosity.

You could say, I am glad that you are concerned about my baby. I am, too. She is seen regularly by experienced professionals who tell me that she is making good progress at her own rate. We, as her parents, are doing everything that we can for her. We see many positive qualities in her. We love her just the way she is.

Encourage people to comment about something positive.

Focus on how pretty or handsome the eyes are or how well the baby is doing at a new skill.

Your child and your family are your first priorities.

What others think is not really important.

Safety First

While you want to encourage curiosity, remember that 10-month-olds don't know how to recognize danger.

This leaves a heavy responsibility with parents to protect their children, yet allow them the freedom to explore what is around them.

Here are some important safety ideas:

• Check the cupboards and drawers Baby can reach now. Take out all sharp objects, breakable things, household products that might poison, plastic bags, and foods that might cause choking (such as nuts and popcorn).
• Set the hot water temperature at 120.
• Keep coffee, hot foods, hot pots and pans out of reach.
• Don't use a dangling table cloth that can be pulled onto the floor.
• Keep household products and medicines that might poison in a locked cabinet.
• Be especially careful when guests stay overnight or when someone in your family is sick. Medicines are likely to be out of their usual safe place. Baby may want to do what you are doing and eat or drink the medicine.
• Keep medicines away from household products and household products away from food. This way Baby will not make a mistake of taking a medicine thinking that it is food.
• Tie a knot in plastic bags. Throw plastic wrappings away before Baby can get them. A child can smother in 1 minute inside an airtight plastic wrapping.

Active Play With Baby

It's fun to play with Baby.

Babies love active play; but keep it safe. A few games are too wild for babies.

Don't throw Baby into the air.

Baby could fall if something distracts you. Instead, lift Baby over your head without letting go.

Don't jerk a baby's arms.

Don't swing Baby by the hands. This is too much stress on Baby's shoulders and elbows. These joints could be dislocated. If you swing Baby around in a circle, hold Baby under the arms by the chest.

Never shake a baby!

This can lead to blindness, brain damage, or death.

Great Beginnings   is sent to you by:

Patricia T. Nelson, Ed.D.
Family and Child Development Specialist

This newsletter has been edited by Deborah J. Amsden, CHE; and prepared with the assistance of Dr. Penny Deiner, Department of Individual and Family Studies, University of Delaware and Marie Anne Aghazadian, Executive Director of the Parent Information Center. This series has been adapted from Parent Express, by Dr. Dorothea Cudaback, Cooperative Extension, University of California and from Parenting the First Year by Dorian Schatell, University of Wisconsin Cooperative Extension.

GB-10M
6/19/97
Rev. 9/94